Homesick

"As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." Proverbs 25:25

Good morning, dear friends,

Photo: films42 pixabay

It hits at the strangest times, shows up in the most unexpected ways, and is practically incurable.  Just about every missionary or overseas friend has it from time to time.  In general, I don't like talking about it, because, 1.  it doesn't change anything and 2.  it often makes it worse.  But it is one of those things that many people do not think about when it comes to missionary life, or how to address it when missionaries are "home" on furlough.

This silent "sickness" of the missionary soul?  Homesickness.

To be clear, I am not homesick right now.  Or, at least, not overly so.  One of the blessings and burdens of Facebook and instant communication is being able to see on a daily basis what my family and friends are doing and experiencing from thousands of miles away, and have that little selfish pang of, "I wish I could be there with that person just for a little while."  It could be a family picnic, or a day to the park, or staying up late to look at planets in the backyard, or hug a friend who is going through chemotherapy, or attend a friend's wedding or homegoing.

Is there a cure?  How do I deal with homesickness on a daily basis here, living thousands of miles away from my family and most of my stateside friends?

I must confess:  oftentimes it ends badly.  Like, a quick cry in the bath, followed by ingesting a whole pint of ice cream at one sitting.

Maybe I should say, when I am more Spirit filled and self controlled, how do I handle the emotions that come from homesickness?

I get busy.  Many times when homesickness hits, I am tempted to stop everything and mope in a corner and have a little pity-party for one, or indulge in some other isolated selfish activity, just for me.  (Hence the private crying and ice cream binging.) However, life does not stop, just because I am not "feeling it" today.  There are still needs to be met, from my family and the people all around me.  God has led me here to be a light to those in my home and those outside of it.  When I am tempted to retreat into myself, I remember that God has called me to be a people person, and I cannot do that while I am sitting in the bathtub or scarfing ice cream.  Ephesians 5:15-16, "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil..."

I retrain my thoughts.  I know the pattern:  many times homesickness for me the missionary wife/mom, if left unchecked, can lead to other negative thoughts about my life, my calling, and the work here.  Look at what others are doing, while I'm here....etc. etc.  It can get ugly very quickly.  I am constantly reminded when homesickness starts to affect my thoughts, that God has called me to "get a grip" on my thought life.  Philippians 4:8 is my constant companion during times like these:  "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."  Talking about it with others doesn't help much, but talking about it with God certainly does, and right thinking is the first place for me to start.

I plan my own fun!  It's taken me a while to figure this one out, but I am in such a privileged position as the missionary--I get to be the "entertainment coordinator" for our family, in France!  And there are so many cool things to do.  OK, I may not be able to join my friends at the water park, but water balloons on the trampoline work just as well!  I may not be able to go camping or hiking with family in the US, but there is a backyard, a forest not far away, and lots of nooks and crannies in between to explore.  When we do get away, it is to places my friends and family can only dream about:  visiting a cathedral, or walking down cobblestone streets, visiting WWII sites, or Paris, or spending a weekend in a foreign country.  God has given us unique opportunities here, that many of my American friends would love to be able to do.  So, when the blahs hit, I remember these blessings, and it helps to tide me over until the next adventure.  Contentedness is something that can be learned, as Paul teaches in Philippians 4:11.  If Paul can be content in whatever physical or material situation he was in presently, then so can I.

As you pray for your missionaries, and I know that you do, think about us, when you pray, that missionaries "miss out" on a lot of American blessings temporarily, to help others enjoy God's blessings for all eternity.  Yes, I would love to join you for that backyard BBQ, or family reunion, or trip to the zoo, but I am here, for a time.

I hope you have a great time in your activity, and know that, as long as I stay out of the bathtub and away from the ice cream in the freezer, that I am celebrating with you.

And looking forward to the day, when we can celebrate together in person, as well.

The Light in the Darkness

"And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?" Genesis 18:23

Photo:  melly95 pixabay

Good morning, dear friends,

I know that many of my friends in America are grieving today, and rightfully so.  

As painful as it is to swallow the latest decision made by the highest court in our land, it is not the first, nor will it be the last, wrongful step for our country.

There has always been wickedness in our land.  Yes, God has truly blessed America, time and time again in its history.  Because of this, many people put their trust in America as the "promised land," the "holy nation," and the "most Christian nation in the world."

Our opportunities are numerous in America, as are the challenges.  For so long we have been blessed, that we have fallen asleep in our blessings.  We have gotten comfortable living in the constant presence of sin, that it takes something big to rouse us up, and finally pay attention, and say, "How on earth did this happen in my country?"

I could not help but think back in the Bible, to another story, very similar, and two godly men's reactions to the wickedness around them.

There was Lot.  Lot made the conscious choice to live continually around wickedness.  Lot "pitched his tent toward Sodom," (Genesis 13:12) a land that was already notorious for its bad choices and filthy lifestyle.  He grew at ease and maybe even let his guard down, or at the very least, turned a blind eye to what was going on around him, to become a profitable businessman and leader in the community.  Maybe he even entertained the idea:  "If I stay here, I can make a difference.  I can take a stand for what's right, in the midst of darkness." Instead, in Genesis 19, I can see the apparent difference in his life, as he is now living in the middle of the city, and though he does not participate in the wickedness so prevalent around him, he does not openly condemn it, either.  Attempting to appease the angry mob that comes to his door, even to the point of offering his two precious daughters to the crowd, shows how far his life had been altered, and not for the better.

On the outside of the city, there was another man, who had chosen to separate himself physically from the wickedness of the land around him, and God had prospered him.  When confronted with the angel's message of destruction for the cities of the plain, Abraham did not ignore the wickedness of the people there.  He did not try to defend their wicked lifestyle, or even excuse the poor choices of his nephew.  Instead, he prayed for the righteous people that were there, and interceded in their favor.  The story is a familiar one:  "Peradventure there be fifty righteous...forty and five...thirty...twenty...ten..." (Genesis 18).  God's judgment was not turned from the city, but God made a way for Lot and his family to be spared, before that judgment came.

What caused these cities to be destroyed?  Their sin:  "And the Lord said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grevious..." (Genesis 18:20) God does not hate the people of these cities:  no doubt their wickedness and rebellion grieved him to the very core of His person.  God loved these people, but as a holy God, He cannot tolerate the presence of sin.  This was not a "hate crime" perpetrated by an unloving, unfeeling deity, but as a Creator who could no longer allow His creation to continually destroy themselves.  

What saved Lot and his daughters from destruction?  The prayers of a faithful, righteous man.

This world is slated for judgment, even my beloved country America.  One day, God will hold back his judgment no longer.  He is a holy God, who created all that is today, and one day, God will judge this entire sinful world according to His holy perfection, and not the whims of mankind.  

There is still hope for America, and for all the countries that exist in this world.  It is the same hope that saved Abraham, and saved Lot, and millions of others living on this globe today:  the good news that God has given in His Word.  It may not be popular to say that God is loving, at the same time, He hates sin, but that is the truth.  People can disagree vehemently, but that truth will stand.

My heart grieves for the latest decision, because of the divisions that will continue to form in families, friends, and loved ones.  There are those who will condemn me for this blog, calling me a hateful and unfeeling person, bigoted and narrow-minded, when those that really know me know that nothing could be further from the truth.  My desire for my country is that no one will be destroyed, as were the people in Sodom and Gomorrah, but will come to know their Creator God who desired so much to see all men come to Him, that He sent His only Son to die for the punishment of their sins.  If God was an unfeeling, unloving God, He never would have allowed His Son to come to die for all mankind, at their very worst.

At the same time, my heart is broken for those who believe that the nation as a whole can be fixed, apart from the good news of the gospel.  America cannot be saved: it is already slated for destruction, as is the world we live in.  Only God's powerful message can change lives and help those who will listen, escape from the judgment to come.

May I, like Abraham, intercede for those living in these desperate times.  May those alive today turn to the living God, to seek their answers to life's questions in God's Son today.  May I not stand in the way of delivering God's message of love--and repentance--to a needy world around me today.

The wake-up call has been given: now, what will be my response?

Crunch Time

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." Romans 12:1

Good morning, dear friends,

Photo: geralt pixabay

If you've been wondering where I am right now, you are in good company.  I don't even know where I am, so that's not very strange.

The end of the school year is always crunch time here in France.  Winding down the school year means EVERYTHING has a deadline looming in my face.  Deadlines are good, in general, because that means that there are things to be done, but let's face it...deadlines are called that for a reason:  usually, by the time I am done, I am dead.

English lessons are winding down for the year (just one more day on Saturday--woo hoo!) There are the two weeks of English intensive lessons coming up before the summer break, one with teens and one with the little ones.  Camp is looming large on the horizon, as well:  just three weeks away, and with the preparation itself just for getting my family ready and the lessons to finish up, well, it's a little bit overwhelming.

(Does the word "whelmed" exist?  It seems that people are always over-whelmed, so I guess being "whelmed" is my normal load.  Being overwhelmed sounds ominous.  But I digress.)

So, when the deadlines loom large and being whelmed is no longer possible, how can I cope with the stress of getting things done?

I can't.

Just like I can't do anything good by myself, anyway.

Deadlines are not the end.  When I have finished these man appointed tasks today, I will still always have something looming on the horizon.  As much as I would just like the roller coaster to stop today, it won't.  So, how will I choose to handle my emotions, when I just want to throw in the towel and run off to Puerto Rico or Tahiti?

I have to remember, that my life is not my own.  I am called to be a living sacrifice, available for service to the One who created me.  If there are deadlines to be met, challenges to be faced, things to accomplish, it is my "reasonable service" as a living sacrifice to be "up" for what the Lord has put on my plate, for today.

I am to be a "living sacrifice," not a dead one, or not one who seems to be dead.  A dead sacrifice is only good once--a living sacrifice is good for every day.

I am to be "holy" today:  keeping myself free from sins, like a bad attitude, a complaining spirit, a thankless heart, or murmuring lips.

I am to be "acceptable" to God:  to be pleasing to Him, no matter what the challenges are that I face today.

So, today, I have decided that I will not be overwhelmed by my deadlines, looking further than what can be managed today.

My two oldest have finished school.  My youngest son Joshua has his unofficial last half day of school today.  (School doesn't officially end for another week, but enough's enough.) So, I am going to pack a picnic and get out of Dodge, and celebrate the official beginning of the summer with them.  I am going to clean my house and then tackle the responsibilities that are lined up in front of me, one by one.

At the end of the day, may I get finished what the Lord has for me, and still be pleasing in His sight, for the way that I have lived today.

Your prayers are appreciated--we are all in this living sacrifice thing together.

Simplified

"And unto this people thou shalt say, Thus saith the Lord; Behold, I set before you the way of life, and the way of death." Jeremiah 21:8

Photo: geralt pixabay

Good morning, dear friends,

It is not an oversimplification for me, to say that I like simple things.

At least, I think I do.

(My husband and children probably disagree.  Maybe I should ask them before I publish this blog.)

I like walks. And books.  Flowers.  Making shapes out of the clouds.  Eating peanut butter straight out of the jar.  Plain popcorn.  Naps.  Staring off blankly into space.  ("Uh oh, Mom's gone to her happy place again.") 

There are so many things in life that are complicated and difficult, and there is so much to life that shouldn't be.  I think we as human beans love taking what should be simple and making it very complicated (especially here in France, dealing with the government, but I digress.)

How many of life's greatest truths, especially with my walk with God, should really be quite simple.

1.  Believe, and be saved.  This is one of the big questions of life.  When Paul and Silas were asked directly, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" their answer was not a long, theological discourse.  It was an invitation:  "And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house." (Acts 16:31) There were no works involved, no special incantations, no rites or rituals, just belief.  If you have never taken the opportunity to believe to be saved, may today be the day.  (You can find out more on my "Home Away from Home" page at the top of this blog.)

2.  Between life and death, choose life.  My morning reading in Jeremiah brought me to the passage at the top of this blog.  The city of Jerusalem was well on its way to being destroyed.  God gave the people a choice:  leave the city and go into captivity, and live, or stay in their stubbornness and die.  Other passages in the Bible, such as Ezekiel 33:11 and Deuteronomy 30:15, encourage the same choice.  Follow after God, and live, or choose to rebell, and die.  There really are no other options, and the choice should be very simple:  choosing to follow God means life, and life more abundantly. (John 10:10) 

3.  Between two paths, follow God's.  So many choices in life can be made simple, if I just remember God's Word and Jesus's teachings.  Isaiah 30:21 reminds me to keep my ears in tune with God's Word:  "And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left." God desires more than anything to see His children choosing to walk in obedience to Him, and many times my feet want to go my way.  Proverbs 16:25 is a good reminder to me:  "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death."

4.  Between two worlds, choose the eternal one.  The world that I live in has many natural beauties, but I should remember that this world is not my final one.   I am reminded in I John 1:15,17: "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world...the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever."  Instead of being too comfortable with my present surroundings, may I like Abraham, look "for a city, whose builder and maker is God."  (Hebrews 11:10)

Life can get pretty messy, but it doesn't always have to be.  So many things can become clearer, if I will just take the time to remember God's Word, choose His ways, and allow Him to guide my steps.  When I seek my own ways and my own thoughts, that's when things usually get complicated.

Maybe it's time to simplify things a bit today...

One more club...

"I go to prepare a place for you..."  John 14:2b

Good morning, dear friends,

The school year is winding down for this year.  Everyone is starting to make plans for their vacations, their hobbies, their family times.  One end is coming, and summer is just around the corner.

This past Saturday was our last Bible club before the vacations.  While it has been a great year with our club, like all good things, it must come to an end as well.  And what an end it was!

This week's lesson was on heaven and the return of Christ!  What an exciting story to finish out our year upon!  Damaris condensed the end times into just 30 exciting minutes.  We both agreed later that for these children who are hearing about this all  for the first time, it must sound almost too good to be true!

May I never tire of the wonder of God's plan for my life, for now and for the future.

Our game this week was a giant board game, The Road to Heaven, where the kids themselves were the pieces!  We reviewed the lesson and explained again the way to heaven for each of the children.

We are thankful to all of you for your many prayers for the club and the other outreach efforts we have here in France.  May God richly bless you all as we labour with you, you in your place, and us here in France!

See you in September, for our next clubs!

Like a Father...

"Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him..." Psalm 103:13

Good morning, dear friends!

Photo: sarahbernier3140 pixabay

Happiest of Father's Days to all my friends today!  I hope your day is as wonderful as all of you are!

As much as I have blessed in my lifetime to know many godly woman as moms and adopted moms, the same can be said of the men who have influenced my life as father figures.

Of course, there's my dad.  The older I get, the more I appreciate the sacrifices he made for his family.  I appreciate the example he has left in my life as far as being faithful to his role.  It helped me to know what to look for in my own husband.  Of course, I appreciate his wisdom, which you can read about here, in case you missed it the first time around.

Then there are the other men in my lives--now that sounds strange to say--that have had such an impact as well.  My adopted dad Jerry taught me so much as a young Christian, and is still a light for me today.  My father-in-love showed me how to live as a Christian in France.  And there are pastors, grandfathers, uncles, brother-in-loves, that show me how to live in God's family.

Then, there is my husband.  Words fail me when I think about his godly leadership in our own home.  I am truly a blessed woman.  How we all need him in our family!  I am one of those crazy mommas--the words "hot mess" come to mind--and my husband remains the steady voice of reason and sound encouragement that my children need.

As important as all these men are to me, there is just one problem:

None of them are perfect.

Just as there are no perfect mothers, there are no perfect fathers.

It is always sad to me when I hear other people say, "I don't trust God as a Father-figure in my life.  I had a horrible experience with my father growing up."

As sad as this is, it is also completely false.  If I try to judge a perfect God by my imperfect relationship with my earthly father, my view of this relationship will always come short.

If I want to know what a perfect father looks like, I must look at the relationship between God and us as His adopted children.  Then, I will understand what my relationship is supposed to be.

So, then, what are the qualities that make God the perfect Father?

His unconditional love.   Even when I disobeyed God, He loved me anyway. He does not like me more  after my salvation than He did before. God has always loved me with an unchangeable and perfect love. "But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5.8)  My sin separated me from God, but when Jesus died on the cross, He accepted me without hesitation into His family. What a wonderful love! "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God!" (I John 3.1)

His provision.  Would I really think of someone as a real father, if he did not care for his own? One of my first thoughts of what makes a real father is someone who lovingly provides for his family's needs.  God has always perfectly fulfilled this responsibility to me.  Jesus reminds me in Matthew 7,11, "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them who ask him?"

His compassion. God has a realistic view of us. He knows of what we are capable, and He expects the best of us. At the same time, He knows all about our fallen condition, and He has compassion on us. "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame, he remembereth that we are dust." (Psalm 103:13-14)

His correction.  God remembers that "we are dust," but this knowledge does not excuse our sins. God still expects His children to live a holy life for Him. Like any good father corrects the insolent or rebellious child, God as the perfect Father, does the same with us.  In Hebrews 12:6, I read, "For whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." If God welcomes me as His child, with all the privileges that come from this relationship, I must also expect to be corrected by His hand.

This list is certainly not exhaustive, but this small glimpse reminds me, what a perfect Father I have in God! If I believe that He is too demanding or too distant to be concerned with my problems, perhaps I need to change my perspective on God and who He is. God loves me perfectly in all circumstances, with all compassion, even correcting me when necessary.

May God help me during this Father's Day, to celebrate the best of Fathers, and praise Him for His great fatherly love for me!

Happy Father's Day to all dads this Sunday!  May God bless and help all the dads today, who are in their turn children of God the Perfect Father.

Tongue-tied

"Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary in forbearing, and I could not stay." Jeremiah 20:9

Good morning, dear friends,

Photo: pezibear pixabay

I'm sure that I'm not alone, when I say that I have a slow brain and a fast mouth.

Too often, I blurt out the things that I shouldn't say, because my mouth forgets that the brain (and the Holy Spirit) are in charge.  My virus checker goes offline, and before I can stop myself, there it is:  my ugly selfishness or lack of self-control is visible for all to see.

(My closest friends and I have a standing joke:  "That sounded better in your head, didn't it?" Yup.)

This is usually true, in all areas of my life, but one:  Not speaking God's truth, when I am prompted to do so.

It happens like this:  an innocent conversation, spoken between me and another, many times with a stranger, or a first time conversation, and something is mentioned that allows me to think of a spiritual truth that I could casually slip into the discussion.  The problem is, by the time I've finally figured out how and what I should say, the conversation has changed directions.  I hesitated too long, and the moment is lost.  To bring the conversation back around to that moment would many times be awkward, or impossible.

I missed my chance, and who knows when that moment will come again?

How much I need to work on allowing God to use my tongue for Him.

This morning I was reading again in Jeremiah, and I arrived at Jeremiah 20, which relates one of Jeremiah's first imprisonments for speaking God's Word.  What is sad to me in this passage is that Jeremiah's mistreatments come 1. while he was doing exactly what God wanted him to do, and 2. he was imprisoned at the hands of someone who claimed to be God's servant as well.  Pashur was supposedly a priest of God, but who "prophesied lies." (Jeremiah 20:6)

In the middle of this passage, after Jeremiah's time in the stocks and being publically derided for a day, Jeremiah pours his heart out to the Lord.  It was definitely a "down moment" in Jeremiah's ministry.  I don't think it would be a stretch to say that Jeremiah was discouraged right then.  The first two verses of this prayer to God sound very familiar to me:

"O Lord, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived: thou art stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me.  For since I spake, I cried out, I cried violence and spoil; because the word of the Lord was made a reproach unto me, and a derision daily."

Jeremiah was essentially saying to the Lord, that he was being mistreated because of his obedience to God.

(Just a note:  the word "deceived" in the first part of this passage does not mean tricked or misled, but apparently means "to persuade or be pursuaded."  Jeremiah was not accusing God of mistreating him, but instead Jeremiah was reminding God that he had been led to speak these words from God Himself.)

Thankfully, that was not his "final word" to the Lord.

Jeremiah could have stopped sharing God's message, and maybe he felt like doing it.  Instead, he found that he could not:

"Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary in forbearing, and I could not stay." (Jeremiah 20:9)

The message of God was burning in his heart, and Jeremiah could not in all good conscience ignore the message.

This response from Jeremiah brought up a similar question in my heart:

Does God's Word burn inside me, so that even if I think others might scorn, despise or mock God's Word, is that enough to keep me from sharing it?

What is really at stake here?  Eternity, people's souls, a life free from condemnation and judgment on the one side, and on the other, my pride.

Obviously, I know which side should motivate my mouth to speak.

May God help me to remember His Word today.  May it burn in my heart, so that not to speak about His wonderful works, is more difficult for me than to keep silent.  After all, when I think of all the wonderous changes that God has brought about in my life, and in the lives of others, shouldn't that give me something to talk about?

May the Lord untie my tongue today, and may I speak freely for Him.

To Market, To Market...

"For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."  (I Corinthians 6,20

Good morning, dear friends!

It was a beautiful spring/summerish day here in Boves, and my co-worker and I had a date to go to a local market in a neighboring town.



Come stroll through the streets with us as we see what's for sale...








Like many markets, the one in this town is a combination of knock-off wares, like these purses and wallets...

...to beautiful dresses imported from the Orient...

...or even the unmentionnables, to go with all the other clothing items.  You never know what you'll find as you wander around!

In addition to all the imported merchandise, there are always lots of flowers...

...as well as the food stands.  Here we have the fruits and vegetables...

...as well as the stinky cheeses for which the French are famous...

...as well as the fresh fish truck.  (Be thankful that I can't upload the smells on my blog--YIKES!)

I usually like to pick up "fast food takeout" while I'm here.  Today was a rotisserie chicken and chicken sausages, Yum yum! (If you look closely, you'll see me waiting in the back of the line.)

Going to the market is one of the fun things I enjoy doing here in France.  I must confess that I feel very French at times like today.  The beautiful weather and good fellowship made for a very fun morning.

Enjoy your Friday, everyone!

Pliable

"Arise, and go down to the potter's house..." (Jeremiah 18:2)

Good morning, dear friends!

Photo: hans pixabay

I have always been a little fascinated by all kinds of crafts and artwork.  Not that I am the least bit artistic, but I do love watching those who are create objects of beauty, especially beautiful objects that have a functional purpose.

I think that watching skilled hands form objects on a pottery wheel has to be one of the coolest art projects ever.

I tried my hand at pottery, once in school.  It consisted of coiling a rope made of clay around a thin clay circle, writing my name in the bottom with a popsicle stick, and painting the clay once it had dried. Even that turned out lopsided and lumpy.

I think I'll leave the pottery to those who really know what they're doing.

I was rereading one of my favorite passages in Jeremiah this morning.  It is probably one of the most familiar passages in this part of Jeremiah:

Jeremiah's visit to the potter's shed.

I love the image of being clay in the potter's hand.  What a beautiful picture of God and His tender, loving care over me.  This is my life story:  "And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it." (Jeremiah 18:4) I don't know what the flaw was.  Maybe there was a pebble embedded in the clay, that would have produced a weakness in the finished product.  Maybe the vessel was just out of shape, or not the right shape for the use that was desired.  At any rate, it wasn't quite right, and the potter refashioned the vessel into something new.

How thankful I am that God, who saw my flawed sin nature, did not leave me as a vessel unfit for use.  He refashioned me into the image of His Son, by giving me a new nature.  I have been refashioned for the Master's use.

How different the story is, one chapter later in Jeremiah.

Here are other vessels, hardened and ready for use.  Perfectly good vessels, but ones that are not fulfilling their purpose.  And, because the vessels are hard, they cannot be reshaped and made new again.  God uses the image of Jeremiah breaking the clay bottle to let the people know of the coming judgment for their sin:  "Thus saith the Lord of hosts, Even so will I break this people and this city, as one breaketh a potter's vessel, that cannot be made whole again."  (Jeremiah 19:11)

How much better it is for me, if I just will remain pliable in my Master's hands.

Webster's Online Dictionary defines the word pliable in the following way:  "supple enough to bend freely or repeatedly without breaking." and "yielding readily to others."

Is this not to be my life in God's hands?

God wants me to be able to be fashioned into the image of His Son.  I cannot look like what I want to look like, but God as the Master Potter has the ultimate "say-so" in my design.  I cannot allow myself to be hardened to His will, or I will be the vessel of Jeremiah 19.

How much better it is, to stay soft and supple in the hands of my Maker.

The shaping process might be difficult, but it is much better than being broken.

May God allow my heart to stay soft and tender to His leading in my heart today.  May I not allow sin or any temptation to make me hardened and not fit for use.

I want to be a "vessel of honor" (2 Timothy 2:21) for the Lord.  May I allow Him to shape my heart as I live for Him today.

Authentic

"Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned: "  I Timothy 1:5

Pen drawing from elisabethelliot.org

Good morning, dear friends,

As many of you have probably already heard, one of my favorite heroines of the faith passed into glory this week.  Elisabeth Elliot, who spent many years as a missionary to the Auca Indian tribe, ministered there after this same tribe killed her husband and several close friends.  God in His grace allowed her to see many people come to Him, and her legacy of living faithfully in the midst of great difficulties and great obstacles has been and will be an encouragement to many more in the future.

What is most striking to me about her life, is her extraordinary faith.  That, and the fact that she lived out her faith as though it was the most normal thing to do.

Which begs the question:

Shouldn't it be?

Genuineness is such a rare quality in our time.  People applaud courage, sacrifice, decency and faithfulness, but very few people live that way.  Even we Christians find ourselves too often caught in the trap of saying one thing, and living another.  We desperately look for heroes, people whose lives stimulate and challenge us to be better than ourselves, but instead of looking for heroes, maybe I should be spending my time concentrating on my life, instead.

Do I live my faith in God as an godly example for my children and others to follow?

An old-fashioned word that doesn't get much use anymore is the word "authentic."  According to Webster's Online Dictionary, there are three definitions to this word:  "real or genuine, not copied or false",  "true and accurate", and, my personal favorite, "made to be or to look just like an original."

Very few things in life come close to being "authentic" anymore.  And rightfully so.  "Realness" can be synthesized in a laboratory, or manipulated on a computer.  It is difficult to judge many times the "real" from the "fake."

But that does not mean that as a Christian, I should not try.

One of my favorite passages that talks about being the genuine article is I Timothy 1:3-6. Paul was encouraging Timothy to be careful for false doctrine, and for those who were teaching false doctrine.  Here was his warning:

"As I besought thee to abide still at Ephesus, when I went into Macedonia, that thou mightest charge some that they teach no other doctrine, Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which minister questions, rather than godly edifying which is in faith: so do.  Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned:  From which some having swerved have turned aside unto vain jangling;"

As I reread this passage this morning, I noted all the contrasts between what is real and what is fake.  There is the real doctrine, and there are fables and genealogies.  There are questions, and then there is godly edifying which is in faith.  There is charity, and there is not.  There is a good conscience, and there is the conscience that allows others to "swerve" from what is real.  There is a faith unfeigned, and there is the nonsense of "vain jangling."

It is not hard to spot the "authentic," if one is truly looking for it.

May the Lord help me to be a genuine Christian, one whose life lines up with what I say I believe.  May the Lord allow His Word to penetrate deep in my heart, so that others looking into my life will not be able to see a difference between what I say and what I do.

May I, like Elisabeth Elliot, be authentic to those around me today.

Does Jesus Care?

"...casting all your care upon Him; for he careth for you..." I Peter 5:7

Good morning, dear friends,

Photo: eliola pixabay

(In case any of you were wondering, I slept like a baby last night.)

For the last several days, I've had a song going through my head.  It's an oldie but goodie, one of those hymns that I learned as a young Christian that has just stuck in my brain.  

What is this hymn, you might ask?

"Does Jesus Care?"  

It has long been one of my favorites, and I always cry a little when I hear the words sung, though I don't really know why.  It has such thoughtful stanzas, then such an uplifting chorus. I think it is so meaningful to me because I feel like I can relate to every part of the song.  There's the heart cry in the verses, and then the soaring affirmation in the chorus.  

The author, Franklin E. Graeff (1860-1919), must have been a man well acquainted with sufferings and coming through them victoriously, but, strangely enough, as I was trying to research the story behind this hymn, there were many conflicting opinions as to what motivated this beautiful song.  Franklin was a popular pastor in Philadelphia, PA, during the turn of the century.  Some have stated that he lost his wife and daughter in a fire, some have stated that it was his many years tending to the broken-hearted of his flock that led him to write the words of this hymn.

In any case, what is known is that Franklin had buried many loved ones, including his mother, father, and three sisters, all prior to writing this beautiful hymn.  He was certainly well acquainted with losing those he held dear to him, and that had an influence on the fourth stanza.

I can't help but be moved when I think about the depth of Jesus's care for me.  The verse at the top of this blog is tucked in the middle of the concluding instructions of Peter at the end of this letter:  " ...casting all your care upon Him; for he careth for you..." (I Peter 5:7)  This instruction is such an interesting one:

"...casting..." apparently means to deposit, on purpose or deliberately.

"...all your care..." would mean my lot of sufferings and burdens.

"...upon Him..." Jesus is the only one who is capable of taking my greatest burdens from me.

"...for He careth for you."  Jesus is interested in me, personally. He cares not only for the world and its inhabitants as a whole, but for me, individually.

May the Lord help me to deliberately place the burdens that come my way today on Jesus's shoulders.  May I remember during trials and testings, that, oh yes, he cares, I know he cares!

Does Jesus Care

  

(1) Does Jesus care when my heart is pained

Too deeply for mirth and song-

As the burdens press, and the cares distress,

And the way grows weary and long?

  

CHORUS: O yes, He cares- I know He cares!

His heart is touched with my grief;

When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,

I know my Savior cares.

  

(2) Does Jesus care when my way is dark

With a nameless dread and fear?

As the daylight fades into deep night shades,

Does He care enough to be near?

  

(3) Does Jesus care when I've tried and failed

To resist some temptation strong?

When for my deep grief I find no relief,

Tho my tears flow all the night long?

  

(4) Does Jesus care when I've said good-bye

To the dearest on earth to me,

And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks-

Is it aught to Him? does He see?

No worries...

"Therefore, take no thought..." Matthew 6:31

Good morning, my dear friends,

I spent a sleepless night here last night.

It was one of those nights where I had so many things going on in my head, and I could not find the switch to turn everything off and sleep peacefully. I thought about this week, about the children, about my medical visits, about my husband, about this week, about my children...and the cycle continued. Often when I have moments like this, I have to laugh a little myself, because when I am trying to carry the world on my shoulders, my husband was sleeping like a baby next to me. He even snored. Obviously, he did not have any problems finding sweet peace last night.

It's actually quite comical in the light of day.

Why am I so worried in the evening? I can spend my whole day, without much thought to the problems that I'm facing, but as soon as my head touches the pillow, I struggle to stop the process. Or, at other moments, I sleep peacefully, and then I wake up at 3 am thinking about everything and anything until the alarm rings and I have to deal with the same problems, but without having had the rest that  my body needed to face them.

How much I need to grow in my faith with God.

This morning when I woke up, I deliberately sought the passage in Matthew 6, where Jesus speaks precisely of our tendency as human beings, to want to worry about everything. In this short passage of 10 verses (v.25-34), Jesus told me three times not to worry about things in my life.

What are those things for which we should not worry?

1. For my life. "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?" (Matthew 6.25) How many times do I worry every day about the material things of life? Jesus reduced my worries about my life in two things: food and clothing. My life has become too complicated, if I have to worry about so much more than those two things. Even so, Jesus told me not to worry about it! Jesus reassures me that God takes pleasure in caring for His creation. (v.26,28) Shall I trust him enough to let Him provide the necessities of life? I have the promise that God, as my Good and Faithful Shepherd, will make sure that "I shall not want. "(Psalm 23:1)

2. For my future. "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. "(Matthew 6.34) How many times do I worry for the things that will happen to me, or could happen to me? Often my thoughts lean towards:  "But if this  happens to me, what would I do?" I fall quickly into the temptation of anticipating the worst case scenario, instead of placing my trust in God, who already has it all in His hands!  As it is, I can not do anything to fix my life-God alone is in control of my life and my future! Jesus reminds me in this passage, "Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?" (v. 27) "Obviously, the answer is: nobody. When I worry about my future, I am putting myself in the place of God, trying to arrange the circumstances in my reasoning, and not by His will.

It is best to leave these two areas--my life and my future--in the hands of Him who made me, and knows all things. After all, I can not do anything to better arrange the situations of my life. He alone is able.

The next time I am tempted to worry about my life or things that can happen to me in life, may God help me to remember that I can not do anything in my life, or my future, except for one thing: to put my trust in God and Him alone. In this passage is the wonderful promise of God regarding my concerns: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. "(Matthew 6:33)

I think I'll sleep better tonight, if I can just remember that ...

Maybe She's Born with It...

"...that ye may walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness..." Colossians 1:10-11

Photo: nidan pixabay

Good morning, dear friends,

Nothing worth having comes easily, does it?

It came upon me suddenly yesterday, as I was watching my children compete in a day-long Parent/Child ping pong tournament in their club.  (No, I was not one of the parents playing. I leave that honor to my husband who actually enjoys chasing the little orange ball around the room.)  I had not seen my children play in a while, more than just goofing around in our basement, and I was shocked.

See, when I played ping pong as a kid, it was a detachable net slung across the dining room table, where my brother and I would take swipes at the ball, and the ball spent more time on the floor than on the table.  I never even broke a sweat.

My husband and my kids do not play ping pong like this.  They are like the Asiatic guys that you see on TV, standing back four feet from the table, slicing, cutting, and generally whacking the ball like it is their worst enemy.  Even my sweet frilly Juliana is dangerous with a ping pong paddle in her hands.

And, since I had not seen them practice in a long time, I was generally amazed at their progress behind the table, not just in their mad ping pong skills, but the good sportsmanship and sweet spirits they had while playing.

Needless to say, it was an eye opener for me.  My children had acquired a skill through much practice and hard work, that if I were not careful, would appear to my eyes as having happened overnight.

But, as I was quick to realize, anything that I do, that is worth doing, usually does not come naturally, without a lot of hard work behind it.

How true this is in my daily walk with God as well.

I was reading this morning in Colossians, and I came across Paul's prayer for the church that just blew me away.  Tucked in the middle of one of those extremely long sentences in the first chapter were these thoughts:  "...that ye may walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness..." Colossians 1:10-11

I realized that this should be my focus for today:

...that I may "walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing"...and that is not a small task.  I must learn more about who God is, and what is pleasing to Him, in my actions, my thoughts, and in my day to day living.  This will not be a half-hazard attempt, something that will come naturally to me.  No, it will be a deliberate effort on my part to clear my life of sin and seek godliness.

...that I may be "fruitful in every good work"... this will also require a lot of effort in my life.  There is so much to occupy my days, that if I am not careful, I will not give diligence to the work that God would like me to accomplish in one day's time.  I cannot as a Christian be lazy and hope to live a life pleasing to God.

...that I may be "increasing in the knowledge of God, strengthened with all might..." I must learn more about God to be pleasing to Him.  That should be my goal as I read His Word today:  to read of Him, so that I may be more like Him...

...that I may realize that my strength for living does not come from me, but from "his glorious power."

None of this will come naturally from me.  It will require daily effort on my part, to enjoy the end fruits of "patience and longsuffering with joyfulness."

How much work I still have to do in my own life.

Remember that slogan from years ago from the makeup Maybelline?  "Maybe she's born with it...maybe it's Maybelline."  (I guess nowadays the slogan would be "maybe she's born with it...maybe it's Photoshopped," but I digress.)  The point of that campaign was to show that for those of us who are not born with "it," can acquire "it" by using a certain product.  In my life, I was not born with "it"--all of the blessings that come from enjoying a close walk with my Lord--but I received "it" the moment I handed my life over to the Lord.  Yes, there is hard work to be done to keep my life clean from sin, but it is definitely worth the effort that comes with time.

How thankful I am that God is patient with me, as He builds through me a life that is pleasing to Him.  It is a long, slow, sometimes exhausting and challenging effort, but isn't that the case for anything worth having in life?

May I be willing today to take the time and effort needed to life a live pleasing to the Lord...

The Heat is On...

"When he uttereth his voice, there is a multitude of waters in the heavens, and he causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth; he maketh lightnings with rain, and bringeth forth the wind out of his treasures." Jeremiah 10:13

Photo: rodro pixabay

Good morning, dear friends!

My dad has visited our family once in France, around Christmastime a few years back.  His visit coincided with one of the coldest Decembers that we had ever experienced here in France.  We had snows that came and stayed for two weeks, and temperatures in the -15s Celcius.  It was cold.

I have yet to be able to convince him that the weather that year was a fluke, and that it normally does not get or stay that cold, but my Dad still believes that we live in Ice Station Zebra, and that the weather is always freezing here.

I will admit, that most of the time, it is much cooler here than in Virginia where my dad lives.  But it does get hot here, too.

Yesterday was one of those days.  It started off sticky and went to muggy, even with the fans on.  By the end of the day we were all starting to melt a little, and then, it happened.

Right at the end of the day, as the kids were preparing for bed, God sent a cool refreshing breeze that no other word can describe but DELICIOUS!  How wonderful that breeze felt against our skins!  We threw open the windows and let it sweep through the house, chilling the tile floors beneath our feets and cooling the sheets on the bed enough to finish the day off in sweet comfort.

What a blessed relief and sweet gift from a loving God.

It never fails to amaze me how lightly the people around me take God's blessings.  Many are quick to blame God for the unpleasantnesses of life, and slow to praise Him for the blessings He sends.  If I were to believe, as many around me do, that God is responsible for every "bad thing" in life, shouldn't that also mean that God is also responsible for the "good things" in life as well?  Instead, people have the tendancy to blame God when "bad things" happen, but chalk up "good things" to chance or happenstance.

For example, in 2003 France experienced one of the worst heat waves in its recent history.  For almost six weeks the country received little to no rain, and the temperatures climbed into the 100s for days on end.  (I remember the year because I was pregnant with Timothy, and delivered him in August.  It was hot that year.) Many elderly people died in their homes and many more were hospitalized that summer for care from the heat.  The television media had a feeding frenzy finding out "who was responsible" for so much loss of life.  People were encouraged to check on their loved ones, and government agencies were created to deal with the "disaster."  Many people tried to lay the blame on government or familial oversight, and many I am sure blamed God as cruel and unloving toward their plight.

How different it is to believe, as I do, that every circumstance, "good" or "bad" in life, is a result of God's loving and tender care over me.  If I truly believe that, then I will have no trouble accepting the difficulties of life as well as His blessings, even the simple one like the breeze from last night, as circumstances that God allows in my life, for my bettering.  Either I will be encouraged and strengthened in my faith, or God will reveal in my heart the areas in which I still have trouble trusting Him.

I love this verse in Jeremiah that I discovered in writing this blog this morning: "When he uttereth his voice, there is a multitude of waters in the heavens, and he causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth; he maketh lightnings with rain, and bringeth forth the wind out of his treasures." (Jeremiah 10:13) How wonderfully encouraging to know that:

1.  God is in control.  He alone controls the winds and the storms.
2.  God is all powerful.  He "uttereth his voice," and the elements rush to obey.
3.  There is none like God.  Just a few verses earlier in this same chapter, the Lord through Jeremiah denounces the false gods that the people created with their own hands and worshipped.  (v.11-12).  God alone is worthy of worship.
4.  God holds all things in ready for just the right times and circumstances.  Like yesterday, God brought forth "the wind out of his treasures." He had a plan all along.

May the Lord help me today to praise Him for the smallest blessings He sends in my life today.  If I am not careful, I will let so many "little" things pass me by, not heeding the loving care that God sends on the breeze today.

And when difficulties arise, may I be careful to see God's hand working there, as well.

One step forward, two steps....

Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. I Thessalonians 4:1

Good morning, my dear friends,

Photo: greyerbaby pixabay

Many of you are aware of my knee problems that occured in April. My knee ached from time to time, and I thought it was my age who was catching up with me a little. Then, walking downtown one day, I made a wrong step, and I found myself on the ground. A few phone calls and a visit to the doctor later, the verdict was in: sprained right knee, and I was off to the pharmacy to get myself a leg brace.

For three weeks I kept my leg stiff, trapped in its steel and velcro cocoon, until its transformation into a healed knee was complete. For two weeks, it worked, and I walked, my injury an afterthought, almost forgotten. But gradually, the knee problem returned, and now I find myself again in my brace with other appointments and medical visits in sight.

This has literally been a one-step-forward-and-two-steps-back kind of month...

(Sigh)

What discourages me most about this story is that I was very careful to take my time before resuming walking. Oftentimes when I am sick and I have to stay in bed for several days, as soon as I feel better, I jump out of bed and try to make up for "lost time." Often I end up back to bed for a couple more days. I was determined this time, having heard all the advice of friends who have had knee problems,to be wise, and to not force my recovery.

Finding myself in the same situation now that I was two months is frustrating.

This makes me think about the number of times I do exactly the same thing, spiritually, regarding my walk with the Lord. There are moments in life where I enjoy a close relationship with God. I spend a lot of time praying, reading God's Word, training up my children in the way they should go, and sharing my faith with people around me. For other times, I seem to have no momentum in my spiritual life. I lack strength, and the efforts to live a full life for God become impossible.

With a life that looks so much like a roller coaster, it is not difficult to understand why I do not always lead a victorious life in Jesus. If only I exercized the same precautions in my spiritual life, as I do with my health.

In thinking about the two, here were some ideas that came to my mind this morning:

I must follow the instructions. My doctor gave me precise instructions for my knee: keep the brace on during the day, sit down with the leg elevated as much as possible, and to move as little as possible for three weeks. I could not hope to see my knee heal if I neglected the doctor's instructions. If I think I know better than the doctor and ignore his advice, it will not help me either. Spiritually speaking, I can not neglect my time of Bible reading, nor follow my own wisdom, and hope to have a healthy walk with God. Jeremiah 7:24 reminds me, "But they hearkened not, nor inclined their ear, but walked in the counsels and in the imagination of their evil heart, and went backward, and not forward."

I must stay consistent.  Hearing and reading  the instructions from my doctor, will not help me either if I do not follow these instructions in a consistent manner. I can not for example, keep my leg elevated one day and go jogging the next. I can not say one day that I'm tired of following those instructions, and drop everything because I'm tired of sitting all the time. Spiritually speaking, it is the same thing. I can not say "no" to sin one day, and allow the same sin in my life the next day, just because I feel like it, or that I am "tired" from the "constraints" of a holy life . I Corinthians 15.58 tells me that there is only one direction in my walk with the Lord:  forward.  "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abouding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord."

I must keep my eyes on the goal. My goal for my knee should not be simply to be finished with medical visits or to get rid of my brace. My goal is to walk as well as before, and perhaps even better than before. I Thessalonians 4:1 also sets for me the goal of my walk with God:  to ressemble the image of His Son: "Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more."

This week, I still have some tests at the doctor's, X rays and MRIs, to find out what's really going on with my knee. I hope that by the end of this week, I will have more information and more treatment options. And it will get better, if I take the time to listen and follow the instructions the doctors give me.

In time, I hope to regain the ability to walk as before, and, perhaps even walk better than before.

May God help me today to have this same desire in my walk for Him.

Bloom Where You're Planted...

"Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?" Luke 12:27-28

 
Good morning, dear friends,

Those of you who have been following my blog know about my love for all things green and flowering.  I especially love this time of year, when all the hard work from the early spring weeding and planting becomes evident for all to see.

No, I do not have price winning roses, or a garden that would ever grace a magazine cover.  I like pretty things, and so I love to have the beauty that comes from being outside and seeing God at work in the small ways.  It reminds me of His love of beauty, His mercy and grace, His tender care over His creation.  After all, if He takes such beautiful care of His earthly creation, which one day will be destroyed by fire, how much more will He take care of His creation that will live with Him for all eternity.

These roses may not be as pretty as the one at the top of this blog, but I love their blooms.  There is so much potential on each and every branch.  These roses are not the ones to win any awards, but they are certainly the most abundant on my bushes.  I'm so thankful that each creation of God has its own beauty, its own color, and its own place in His design.  It reminds me that each and every Christian is unique, as is each and every soul that God places in my path today.  

And these roses next to my fence are not prize winners either, except in one category: their fragrance.  My neighbors have stopped by several times and lingered at this bush, just enjoying the scent.  That is how I want my life to be: a sweet fragrance to God and to others.  I want people to linger around God's beautiful scent in my life, and desire it for themselves.

I even have strawberries in my yard.  I have to get to them quickly, though.  My youngest son Joshua loves them, too, and gets as many as he can when they are ripe before we realize they even are ripe!  I am reminded that God desires me to stay close to Him, so that I may bring forth much fruit, and that without Him, I can do nothing!

Down the descent of my driveway, we have hollowed out bricks that hold different flowering plants, like these pink carnations.  What amazes me is that there really isn't that much dirt in each container, and yet the plants thrive there, year after year.  I'm reminded that even in the most difficult, limiting circumstances, God allows His beauty to bloom.  

 Lavender in my garden is a joy but also a necessity, since we have very difficult soil here. Lavender quite literally thrives here:  the poorer the soil, the more beautiful the lavender!  May I be like this lavender bush, thriving in the midst of difficult ministry and less than ideal conditions for serving the Lord.

So, there you have it, a little tour of some of the beauty in my yard.  Everytime I "stop and smell the roses" outside, I am reminded of a loving God who blesses my life with beauty and riches, if only I will stop and take the time to do so.

Happy Thursday, everyone!

When Dreams Die...

"There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, it shall stand." Proverbs 19:21

Good morning, my dear friends,

Photo: ayank pixabay

Growing up, I was full of dreams of what I wanted to accomplish with my future.

As a career I saw myself as a teacher, journalist, writer, a dancer (ballet dancer, despite the fact that I had never taken any dance lessons) and ... actress. Fortunately for the world, these two last dreams have never seen the light of day.

I saw myself single at some point, living the rest of my days in an exotic location, travelling and experiencing all that the world had to offer me.

Fortunately again, all that changed the day I met Christ at the age of 13. Becoming a child of God, and to having my life turned upside down for the better, did change my selfish dreams. God gave me a different perspective of my life: my life no longer belonged to me, and I willingly put aside my plans to be God's child and faithful servant.

Obviously, what the Lord has in mind for me is much better than my childish dreams.

After giving my life to Jesus, He gave me new dreams. I wanted to serve Him full time. I wanted to marry a man of God, and raise a family on biblical principles. I wanted to spend my life talking about God all around me. I thank God that in His grace He accepted these dreams, and those dreams are the ones I aim for day by day.

Along the way, I had other dreams, more discreet, which I kept in my heart.  They are the kind of dreams, "If I have time, I would ..." or "If ever God allows, I would ..." or "If I have a little money, I would ... "and I breathed these wishes out in  my prayers or thought about them in my heart. Sometimes I shared them  with others, but often not. God and I were aware of them, and that was enough.

 Occasionally, I saw God in His grace grant me my wishes, and I saw my dreams came true. For example, I prayed for the house in which we currently have, a desire to live in one place in a more permanent way, and God said yes. But other dreams were not in God's plan for me, and I had to abandon those desires to be a faithful and submissive servant.

 This is not always easy. Sometimes it's very painful.

What do I do when God says "no," to something I have in my heart, but God does not allow to come to pass in my life? I searched a bit in the Scriptures, and I discovered two people who had to abandon their dreams, to serve God faithfully. Here are their examples and lessons that God gave me contemplating their lives:

1. My disobedience can end a heart's dream. Moses served God faithfully for years, as a leader of the people of Israel. God had entrusted him with the task of leading God's people through the desert to the Promised Land. It was a heavy responsibility, and Moses had to fight constantly against a rebellious people, external enemies, harsh living conditions and his own flesh. Moses faithfully fulfilled his task, except in a moment of anger, when his frank disobedience to God blocked his path to the Promised Land. In Numbers 20:12, God ennumerates the consequences of acts of Moses: "And the LORD spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them." What a great disappointment to Moses! He saw his dream disappear before those eyes, because of his bad choices. How important it is to keep my heart pure before God, believing in His promises, and not to yield to temptations in my life.

 2. A perfect obedience to God may have me give up my most cherished dreams. David, the man after God's heart, had a project he wanted to achieve for God.  He wanted to build the Temple. There was nothing wrong with this desire: it was not a selfish or shameful desire, but David had to see this dream left unfinished in his lifetime. Why? Because it was not part of God's plan for his life. Being obedient to God will mean that my plans and projects are secondary to what God has for my life, and this should be normal. God sees all circumstances, and He alone knows perfectly His plan for my life and for this world. II Samuel 7 describes the reaction of David, when he learned that God was going to accomplish this project not in his lifetime, but during the lifetime of his son: "Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that thou hast brought me hitherto? " (II Samuel 7:18) Instead of complaining or trying to "convince God of his mistake," David accepted this change with grace and humility of heart. Do I have the same reaction when God said "no" to the most cherished dreams of my heart?

An obedient life that honors God means that I give the first place in my life for God to rule over everything, even my plans and desires. If I persist in doing my own will, even if the dream is a "good thing," but God is not in my project, then my plan is doomed to failure. Proverbs 19:21 helps me to remember:  "There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, it shall stand."

Will I leave the last word to God today, even if it means that one of my "dreams" will die?