Homesick

"As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." Proverbs 25:25

Good morning, dear friends,

Photo: films42 pixabay

It hits at the strangest times, shows up in the most unexpected ways, and is practically incurable.  Just about every missionary or overseas friend has it from time to time.  In general, I don't like talking about it, because, 1.  it doesn't change anything and 2.  it often makes it worse.  But it is one of those things that many people do not think about when it comes to missionary life, or how to address it when missionaries are "home" on furlough.

This silent "sickness" of the missionary soul?  Homesickness.

To be clear, I am not homesick right now.  Or, at least, not overly so.  One of the blessings and burdens of Facebook and instant communication is being able to see on a daily basis what my family and friends are doing and experiencing from thousands of miles away, and have that little selfish pang of, "I wish I could be there with that person just for a little while."  It could be a family picnic, or a day to the park, or staying up late to look at planets in the backyard, or hug a friend who is going through chemotherapy, or attend a friend's wedding or homegoing.

Is there a cure?  How do I deal with homesickness on a daily basis here, living thousands of miles away from my family and most of my stateside friends?

I must confess:  oftentimes it ends badly.  Like, a quick cry in the bath, followed by ingesting a whole pint of ice cream at one sitting.

Maybe I should say, when I am more Spirit filled and self controlled, how do I handle the emotions that come from homesickness?

I get busy.  Many times when homesickness hits, I am tempted to stop everything and mope in a corner and have a little pity-party for one, or indulge in some other isolated selfish activity, just for me.  (Hence the private crying and ice cream binging.) However, life does not stop, just because I am not "feeling it" today.  There are still needs to be met, from my family and the people all around me.  God has led me here to be a light to those in my home and those outside of it.  When I am tempted to retreat into myself, I remember that God has called me to be a people person, and I cannot do that while I am sitting in the bathtub or scarfing ice cream.  Ephesians 5:15-16, "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil..."

I retrain my thoughts.  I know the pattern:  many times homesickness for me the missionary wife/mom, if left unchecked, can lead to other negative thoughts about my life, my calling, and the work here.  Look at what others are doing, while I'm here....etc. etc.  It can get ugly very quickly.  I am constantly reminded when homesickness starts to affect my thoughts, that God has called me to "get a grip" on my thought life.  Philippians 4:8 is my constant companion during times like these:  "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."  Talking about it with others doesn't help much, but talking about it with God certainly does, and right thinking is the first place for me to start.

I plan my own fun!  It's taken me a while to figure this one out, but I am in such a privileged position as the missionary--I get to be the "entertainment coordinator" for our family, in France!  And there are so many cool things to do.  OK, I may not be able to join my friends at the water park, but water balloons on the trampoline work just as well!  I may not be able to go camping or hiking with family in the US, but there is a backyard, a forest not far away, and lots of nooks and crannies in between to explore.  When we do get away, it is to places my friends and family can only dream about:  visiting a cathedral, or walking down cobblestone streets, visiting WWII sites, or Paris, or spending a weekend in a foreign country.  God has given us unique opportunities here, that many of my American friends would love to be able to do.  So, when the blahs hit, I remember these blessings, and it helps to tide me over until the next adventure.  Contentedness is something that can be learned, as Paul teaches in Philippians 4:11.  If Paul can be content in whatever physical or material situation he was in presently, then so can I.

As you pray for your missionaries, and I know that you do, think about us, when you pray, that missionaries "miss out" on a lot of American blessings temporarily, to help others enjoy God's blessings for all eternity.  Yes, I would love to join you for that backyard BBQ, or family reunion, or trip to the zoo, but I am here, for a time.

I hope you have a great time in your activity, and know that, as long as I stay out of the bathtub and away from the ice cream in the freezer, that I am celebrating with you.

And looking forward to the day, when we can celebrate together in person, as well.