Giving out, not given out

"The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." Proverbs 11:25

Good morning, dear friends!

Photo: geralt pixabay

I did something yesterday morning that I don't usually do.

I took the whole morning off.

This week has been a crazy one:  unexpected surprises, long days, tiring work, and mental drain.  I felt like a wrung-out dishrag.  Wednesday morning, after dragging myself depleted out of bed, I told my husband I just needed a break.  I got caught up on all my chores, letter writing, blog posts, visits and all (or at least most) of my loose ends tied up before I headed to bed on Wednesday, and I went to bed Wednesday night, anticipating my morning respite.

It was wonderful.

I slept in...until 6:45. I took an extra long quiet time. After getting everyone safely and happily off to school, I came home, ate breakfast, went for a jog, and buried my nose in a book.  I fixed lunch and enjoyed an unrushed, unscheduled afternoon with two of my children who were home from school in the afternoon.  I took a nap.  I played badminton...in the wind.  (In fact, we always have wind here, so it was a challenge.)  I read some more.  I played with kittens.

It was basically an unplugged, unwinding kind of day.

And I had really needed it.

One of the most challenging aspects of being wife, mom, and missionary, is people.  Someone is always needing something.  If I am not careful, my care becomes drudgery.  My desire to serve others becomes a burden instead of a blessing.  My schedule becomes a task master instead of a means to an end.  I am driven, driven...until I can't.  There is always the next person needing help, encouragement, visiting, writing, calling...and after a while, if I am not careful, I run myself out.  I begin to see the people around me as interruptions and complications, instead of people with needs, people that God loves and that need me to act, well, like Christ.

It took a morning apart, aside, to realize how blessed I am, to have people that need me, and people that need me...to show them Christ, and His love.

I was thinking about all the giving out that I do in a day's time, for my family, for my responsibilities and for others around me.  There are many times that I feel like I don't want or don't have anything else to give.  I have given, and given, and now I am...empty.

Then, I realize, I don't have anything else to give anyone.  I never did.  Only when I allow God to be in the center of my life, do I have anything worth offering others.

The verse in Proverbs at the top of this blog has always been an interesting one for me, because of the seeming contradictions in the verse (not in its writing, because God's Word is perfect, but because of the opposites in the imagery.)  "The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself."  It seems contradictory that a generous person shall be "made fat," or that a person who is constantly tending to watering others, will be "watered also himself."

If I understand this verse correctly, basically it means that as I give to others, I will be given to in return, if my motivation is correct.  If I see myself as the vessel that God fills, and then distributes, then I will never be empty in my giving to others.  Rather, my life will be fuller and more blessed, as I give.

I cannot outgive, what God will give in return.

Yesterday was a much needed pause, to refocus my attentions on my God and the people in my life.  Today starts again with all of its craziness:  Bible club this weekend, lessons to write, chores to finish, music to practice, as well as people all day (and all weekend) long.  Will I remember as I face the challenges this weekend, that God is the one who gives?  Will I allow Him to use me to bless others, or will I withhold myself from His service?

May I be willing to give, not counting the cost or holding myself back, so that God will get the glory as the One who fills, and gives through me...